Let's Get Skinny!

During a Period

  • Uterus: I hope you didn't like those underwear.
  • Stomach: EAT ALL THE THINGS!
  • Emotions: I don't care that you were crying your eyes out ten minutes ago, that was fucking funny. Now go act like you're high until I see something that pisses me the fuck off.
  • Stomach: ESPECIALLY THE CHOCOLATY THINGS!
  • Uterus: Also I've decided to act like something's constantly punching me. I hope you don't mind.
  • Me: why can I not have a penis.

pyrates:

i’m so sorry to all the people who get to know me well

you are deceived into thinking you’re making friends with someone who is nice and quiet and normal and shy

and then i explode into this horrific mess of weirdness after i get comfortable talking to you and you’re like THIS ISN’T WHAT I ASKED FOR

i’m sorry

(via 4nnalouise)

basically all my sentences start with one of these

  • ok so
  • basically
  • omg
  • no but seriously
  • actually
  • ok
  • wow
  • ok wow (or wow ok)
  • wait
  • but wait
  • no wait
  • wait what
  • guys
  • oh wow
  • so like

(Source: africans, via 4nnalouise)

hey i just met you

and this is crazy

but i’m already naming our children and i’m already coordinating the colours of our wedding and i picked out a house for us in the city 

so call me maybe

(Source: cybergirlfriend, via 4nnalouise)

I’m sick of being undervalued. I’m sick of having my mistakes aired to the world and not having any of my achievements acknowledged. I’m sick of people not realising how much work I do behind the scenes and only focusing on my results. I’m sick of being the one who fixes everyone at a cost to myself, but when I need help there is no-one.